I tried, I really tried. I shook off self-doubt and left my comfortable homey life to work in a city office job. I joined the commuter crush to travel in close contact with people who rarely acknowledge each other’s existence. On arrival at work I rode in a mirrored packed with people avoiding eye contact to go up to my floor
Aside from an insincere ‘good morning’ from those sitting nearby my desk I was left to work alone while people chatted about their lives with their friends around me. Just like in a schoolyard they whispered in others ears while in my full view. Nobody took the time to make proper introductions leaving me to awkwardly introduce myself. People worked collaboratively but failed to provide enough information about the project or the names and roles of team members. I know I’m introverted and people say I’m quiet but I made every possible effort to fit in and work as part of the team. I smiled and tried to interact but my colleagues made it clear I was invisible. When I had questions about my work I felt I was an inconvenience for seeking clarification so I wasted time trying to figure things out myself.
After only four weeks I couldn’t face going back and I resigned. Perhaps I should have asked if there was a reason people acted unkindly toward me but the experience weakened my resolve and all I wanted to do was get away. I have no regrets for trying the new experience nor harsh feelings towards my former workmates. All I feel is hurt because I can’t understand how people can be so unkind for no obvious reason.
In my last post Working 9 to 5 I confidently quoted Mhar “You are confined by the boundaries you set yourself. The mind creates the cage. Set yourself free and move out of your comfort zone.” I took that advice but this time I ran straight back to my comfort zone and for now I’m happy I’m home.
Please be kind to others. I wish the people who treated me unkindly could appreciate my post Rekindle Kindness.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.