Saying it out loud

It’s been bothering me that I’ve barely posted on my blog this year. I’m afraid I’m withdrawing and slipping away from the blogging community, which is not what I want. Each day I enjoy reading posts by bloggers I follow. I laugh, feel sad, agree, disagree and learn from the words and photos people post. I comment on posts and interact with bloggers who unreservedly accept me in their online community space.

When I created Jenna Dee blog three years ago I discovered that writing about repressed feelings is cathartic. After tentatively unlocking the courage I progressively gained confidence to acknowledge my feelings and move on from the past. For two years my life was optimistic and I felt more in sync with other people. I enthusiastically shared positive messages, words and stories and truly felt like a useful cog in society.

misty blue dayLately my old feelings of alienation have been rearing their ugly head. After a few recent confidence kickers I’ve retreated back a few steps. Even though I am content filling my days I feel a necessity to embellish my life so it appears more interesting to others. I question the quality of my posts and struggle to think of things to write about. I compare myself to others who consistently share original thought-provoking posts every day of the week.

I have always had no hesitation sharing the joyous times of my life but today I promised myself I would be honest and admit to the insecure feelings that are lurking around me. Life has its ups and downs and I accept this.

 

 

 

 

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17 thoughts on “Saying it out loud

  1. Jenna, I have missed you and your posts. Writing never works when you worry about what you’re going to write, or force it. Just close your eyes, relax, and trust yourself. Whatever comes into your head write about it. Just let it flow naturally. Whatever you write about we will all love it because we all love you and are interested in what you have to say. 🙂

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  2. Jenna—that’s what I am here for—to read, to listen, to care—life is hard and our age is so tough–someone recently lamented that we are the sandwich generation as we are sandwiched between caring for aging parents and young adult children–some who quickly fly from the nest, independent and whole, while others are certainly slow to “launch”—
    you find yourself wanting to offer productivity to the world, yet are living in a bit of an impasse—-not the young things the world seems to yearn for—a bit tired, grey around the temples and slower than what we use to be—-there are days I too want to just withdraw into my own little world–a place of some comfort and acceptance—sheltered from the “lack of acceptance” from a jaded world—
    Be of good cheer Jenna—for around this globe of ours, here I am–totally understanding what you’re saying and feeling—so no, you are not ever truly alone my friend—
    hugs and love to you—-
    Julie

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    1. You have summed up exactly how I feel Julie. You are an incredible friend who is always there to say just the right thing at the right moment. I thank you so much for your wisdom and encouragement. Love Jenna

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  3. Beautiful and heartfelt, Jenna. I am glad you shared this, because we all have ups and downs, but it takes a lot of courage to share the downside of things. Please don’t compare yourself to others, for you are a precious & unique person, unlike any other. I love the Oscar Wilde quote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Honor who and where you are on the path.
    Just as an aside, I just remembered it is winter for you. Are you getting enough Vit. D? I have to supplement in the winter or my mood takes a nosedive. 2000 mg./day does wonders! Hugs to you! ❤

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  4. So good to hear from you Jenna … in “limboville.” Sometimes we have a surge in our personal growth and feel ourselves expanding in a new way. We take on the challenge and meet it with new insights and find ourselves in a new place of awareness. We embrace this new way of being.
    And then we realize that the old way of evaluating life and ourselves no longer fits…. although what is around us still is from the past – Including some of our own beliefs!
    This part of the journey is one of integration and patience.
    Accept how things are and trust that you are where you are meant to be.
    You are no longer playing to the audience … just learning to be fully yourself.
    xo

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