It’s been bothering me that I’ve barely posted on my blog this year. I’m afraid I’m withdrawing and slipping away from the blogging community, which is not what I want. Each day I enjoy reading posts by bloggers I follow. I laugh, feel sad, agree, disagree and learn from the words and photos people post. I comment on posts and interact with bloggers who unreservedly accept me in their online community space.
When I created Jenna Dee blog three years ago I discovered that writing about repressed feelings is cathartic. After tentatively unlocking the courage I progressively gained confidence to acknowledge my feelings and move on from the past. For two years my life was optimistic and I felt more in sync with other people. I enthusiastically shared positive messages, words and stories and truly felt like a useful cog in society.
Lately my old feelings of alienation have been rearing their ugly head. After a few recent confidence kickers I’ve retreated back a few steps. Even though I am content filling my days I feel a necessity to embellish my life so it appears more interesting to others. I question the quality of my posts and struggle to think of things to write about. I compare myself to others who consistently share original thought-provoking posts every day of the week.
I have always had no hesitation sharing the joyous times of my life but today I promised myself I would be honest and admit to the insecure feelings that are lurking around me. Life has its ups and downs and I accept this.