Category Archives: Blogging

Hello again

Just like sleeping soundly in a comfy bed I crave self-expression, but at times it eludes me. Writing plays a persistent calming role in my life but doesn’t always flow freely. Sometimes my thoughts swirl in a tangled mess of perplexity and it’s during these times that my words dry up both verbally and in written form. This is where I’ve been for quite some time, hence my absence from blogging.

Like everyone life regularly challenges my limits and teaches me to adapt to new circumstances. Some periods are tougher than others but maturity of years has taught me that eventually these periods pass. I’m heading out the other side of another intense chapter and now look forward to a new travelling adventure in Europe which I’m hoping will reignite my relationship with writing.

Confusing times

Followers of JennaDee blog might have noticed a lack of posts in recent weeks and I feel I owe you an explanation.

This dry spell isn’t due to diminished enthusiasm or effort, in fact sometimes I try too hard making matters even worse. I’ve lost touch with my word flow and temporarily lost my zest for writing. Several reasons for this situation spring to mind.

  1. I finally made peace with my past and (almost) always live in the moment
  2. I am content with what I have and (almost) always accept the way things are
  3. I learned how to stop worrying about things outside of my control
  4. I began a creative writing course

Sharing my thoughts and fears with others was therapeutic when I first started blogging. My online space created an outlet to write about things I’d never spoken about. It felt exhilarating and dangerous to tell my secrets.  Writing posts about mistakes, regrets and heartache flowed freely allowing me to face up to and deal with unresolved issues.

After a year of soul-searching combined with the support of fellow bloggers I learned how to make peace with my past and stop it negatively affecting my life. This shift in attitude  greatly improved my outlook on life.

The problem is now I don’t know what to write about. My life is wonderful, I am healthy, comfortable and want for nothing. I feel guilty that so many people are dealing with adversity in their lives.

Maybe that’s why so many songs and poems reflect stories about heartbreak? Maybe people more readily relate to sadness and difficult situations?

This leads to my last point about my blog drought that arose when I decided to try my hand at creative writing.  While I enjoy the intricacies of developing characters and plot I feel like it is corrupting my natural style of writing. I tend to overuse adjectives and when I re-read my drafts the writing is over-exaggerated and clunky. I seem to have lost my natural voice.

If anyone has any suggestions about how I can retrieve my blog writing vitality  I will be most grateful.

Yours in anticipation
Jenna Dee

Zen moments

Today  is the first year anniversary of writing my blog, Jenna Dee. I’m proud to say this is my 62nd post.

After a series of monumental events in 2012 something erupted within and propelled me toward a year of soul-searching that I tentatively started sharing on my blog.

Writing takes me to a place of clarity where I can translate my thoughts into words. Traveling this path challenges me to accept rather than suppress my emotions, which is both exhausting and exhilarating.

Blogging forces me to talk about things out loud. Knowing that someone somewhere may be reading my words makes me feel accountable. My life began to change when I let hundreds of strangers in to my once very private world.

My online friends encourage, advise and share experiences. We laugh and we cry together. There is always someone there giving me strength to challenge myself to keep moving forward.

This year I woke from years of hibernation; I started to see, feel and listen more.

I learned to be kinder to myself.
I learned to embrace my individuality.
I learned that it’s okay to change my mind and old ways.
I learned to be still.
I learned to stop trying to figure it all out.
I learned to let go.
I learned to be me.

Every day I discovered something new and I’ve collected stories, images and words that made a difference to me at the time I saw them.

My fascination with Asian culture led me to Lao Tzu and the Tao Te Ching. I learned that life is a beautiful mystery that cannot be explained nor understood and that to be Tao is to be unlimited, undefined or unformed.

Writing Peace be with me was difficult.  I bared my soul and shared my pain about  the death of my mother seven years ago. The resulting wave of support that came from bloggers made me understand that my emotions were unfounded. Finally I was able to resolve these feelings. Now I remember the wonderful times we shared rather than thinking about the day she died.

My most popular blog post  Listen to your heart expresses my anguish about painful memories of  nine lost years in my relationship with my son. I once thought he had fallen so far down a deep dark hole that he could never be freed.  This year I saw his head appearing out of that hole and he has emerged back into my life. Words can’t express how grateful I am for this second chance.

I appreciate every comment bloggers make on my posts but this comment on Listen to your heart I treasure dearly.

This reminds me of how much beauty there is this world however painfully wrapped, thank you for writing so deeply from the heart. Sophie

When writing Love is all you need based on an email exchange with my dad I realised my relationship with him has deepened and flourished to one of love and friendship. I have learned from his wisdom and I treasure this extra time we’ve had together.

It has been a year of creating possibilities, of confronting demons and making peace with regrets. I have fallen and regressed many times but each time I got up stronger and more eager to keep trying.

This is not the end of my journey; it is only the first few baby steps.  I have at least thirty more years of my life to fully emerge. I hope I will still be writing my blog then so I can look back and relive the journey of the person I will grow to be.

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.
Lao Tzu

Letter to my friends

Dear Julie (aka Cookie), hibernationnow, risinghawk, Eric Tonningsen, Theresa, Ruth Rainwater, Pocket Perspectives,  shreejacob, sufilight, grevilleacorner, Crowing Crone Joss, starrystez, Owls and Orchids newbloggycat, quarteracrelifestyle , Robbie, lauriesnotes, and suzjones

The love, advice and support that you share with me in your responses to my blog posits is so greatly appreciated.  Every one of you is helping me more than you will ever know.

My last post Peace be with me was a heartfelt letter admitting my fears and regrets arising from my mothers passing seven years ago.

I wrote about the negative feelings I’ve been holding within for way too long. Admitting these thoughts ‘out loud’ and sharing them with people I knew would read them, was a big step forward for me.

What I received back was caring, thoughtful responses given with abundant love. The message was loud and clear – Jenna, you need to let it all go and remember your mum with love.

Relief washed over me with every comment I received. Suddenly I felt vindicated. I had shared my deepest fears and people were saying it was okay, they understood. They didn’t think any less of me.

Yesterday I listened to a CD,  Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life with the lessons of Lao-tzu. The Tao Te Ching (The Great Way)  provides spiritual guidance to live in harmony with the universe.

Re-reading the comments from fellow bloggers combined with the lessons learned from Lao-tzu was exactly what I needed to satisfy my wish to find peace within.

Again, I express my deepest thanks.

Your friend
Jenna

Blogger’s block

Is anyone else struggling with the commitment of writing a regular blog post?

When I started blogging  I found it exhilarating and liberating to share my experiences and  thoughts with imaginary people.

Blogging gave me new-found confidence, it gave me a voice in the wilderness and when people started responding to my posts I felt validated and accepted.

The discipline of writing regular blog posts keeps me accountable to continue facing truths and gives me courage to be open and honest.

But somehow along the way I got caught up in the thrill of the ride and started to lose sight of why I started blogging.

The last little while I’ve struggled with writing posts and this has bothered me. Writing shouldn’t be a chore, but thanks to my insecurities I started to make it one.

The problem was I started anticipating what people might be interested in reading rather than writing about things I wanted to say. I started seeking articles about successful blogging and attracting readers. I tried to write blogs about topics that I didn’t relate to only to scrap them in frustration.

The truth is I temporarily lost my focus on why I write a blog, which is to accept myself for the person I am not to accumulate likes or be popular.

So at the risk of being self-indulgent I will continue to write from the heart about things that matter to me, which I apologise in advance may or may not be interesting to anyone else.

I will return to treating my blog as an online journal that I share with my blogging friends.

Blogging gives me courage to face the challenge of accepting what is, to let go of what was, and to have confidence in what will be.

For me that is enough.

What makes you tick?

One of my favourite pastimes is reading the “About me” pages of bloggers. The posts I enjoy reading reflect individuality and set the writer apart from being just another face in the crowd.

Most people state their name, age, hometown, education and marital status .  Others seem boastful and over emphasize their many accomplishments.

I skip reading  “About me” pages with lists of achievements that read like a job application.  I’m  interested in the ordinary or quirky stuff that bloggers share that show a glimpse of who they are and what makes them tick.

My personality is unassuming. I am committed to sharing the truth about who I am so here is a little about me…..

I am spiritual but hold no religious beliefs. The beauty, power and unpredictability of nature exhilarate my senses. I live by the sea and I’m renewed every time I walk along the beach breathing in the salty air feeling the sea spray on my face.

After 23 years of marriage I ceased using my name by marriage and reverted to my name at birth. I love my husband dearly but felt so deeply about regaining my individuality that I made the change for my peace of mind. It may sound crazy but I feel I have renewed my spirit by reconnecting with my original identity.

I am fascinated in Asian countries, especially Japan where I have visited multiple times because it keeps drawing me back and feels like home.

The precision and beauty of Japanese gardens inspire a feeling of peace and harmony in my soul.

The novels I enjoy reading are set in Asian countries in the early 1900’s. These stories accentuate the hardship that people endured and inspire my admiration for the courage  people find to survive through adversity.

My biggest regret is that I was not by mother’s side when she died because I listened to others who told me she would rather be alone. I doubt I will ever forgive myself for this decision.

One of my best spur of the moment decisions was adopting my dog Gracie  from an animal shelter. She gives me so much joy and never fails to brighten every day.

I love objects that sparkle; crystals, mirrors on mosaics, candles and bud lights in trees. I watch in awe as the sun shines through my window on to a hanging crystal causing coloured reflections to dance around my walls.

I hope I’ve  shared something about myself that sparks your interest and leads you to get to know me better by reading my other blog posts. And if not, that’s okay, it was nice to meet you.

The kindness of strangers

My last post You did your best Jenna was emotion charged and difficult to put into words. It took all my courage to admit to truths I had been carrying inside for way too long. It left me feeling emotionally drained but also satisfied to have written about such a daunting topic.

I had no idea how other people would receive my outpouring. I suppose I hoped my family would want to tell me that they were proud of me.  I imagined each of them hugging me tight and telling me they understood I had coped in the best way I could.

But it was fellow bloggers who were able to eloquently express their understanding and acceptance of a fellow human being who needed reassurance about her life circumstances. They gave me kindness, words of encouragement and the feeling of acceptance I needed in order to move on with my life.

My eternal gratitude goes out to Carrie Lange, ckfus, lauriesnotes, Michele Anderson, spiritteacher, kristijojedlicki,  newbloggycat, Denise Hisey, Julie (aka cookie), Melissa, Village Girl, Chere Harbridge, starlarosa, brindanaidu and iamyourme who reached out and touched my heart with kindness; please know your words helped me overcome the difficulty of accepting and facing the truth.

I will be forever grateful to you for your kindness and pledge to pay it forward.