Category Archives: Identity



Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
This nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice,
This loftiness has roots that go deep.

I have just three things to teach:
Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
You return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
You accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
You reconcile all beings in the world.

~ Lao Tzu – Tao Te Ching

I am who I am

– the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time

Millions of babies are born every year and undergo the initiation process of receiving a name. Names form part of every culture and are important to the people who receive them and to the societies that give them. Generally, in cultures with a sense of ancestry, children get their family names from their father.

When we meet people we introduce ourselves by saying our name. The sense of personal identity and uniqueness that a name gives us is at the heart of why names are important to us.

For reasons still unknown to me I married my boyfriend when I was 18 years old and dutifully changed my surname to match his. This generated a spiral effect resulting in a detachment of the essence of my identity that was to last 32 years.

The marriage lasted seven years. When my son was born there was no question that his surname should match his father’s. The marriage ended soon after our son was born but I never considered reverting to my maiden name.

Two years later I re-married and again blindly changed my surname to match that of my second husband, I willingly went through the arduous process to change my legal identity. So at 28 years old I had assumed a third surname since my birth.

This marriage is happy and long lasting.  When our two daughters were born they naturally were given their father’s family name.

So I was 30 years old, I had changed my name twice to conform to my married status, I had three children and none of them reflected my family name.

During the next 20 years as feminism influenced the thinking of intelligent women, I started questioning my decisions and realised I had naively conformed to societal norms.   I was disappointed that I had willingly sacrificed my identity without considering my own needs.

At 50 years old I made the decision to reclaim my identity and revert to the name I was born with even though it hurt my husband who couldn’t understand the need for me to do this after 23 years of marriage.

He was wrong, I needed to do this for me.

Now when I introduce myself and say my name I feel honest and true to myself. When I see a letter addressed to me I feel connected to my name. When a doctor calls my name in the waiting room I immediately know that she is referring to me.

I’m still happily married and living with my husband but I am an individual with my own name and personal identity.

Two to the power of Two

Numerology is a subject that I know nothing about, but numbers have always played a role in my life. My lucky number is 6, my sixth birthday was on 26.06.1966 and I have always identified with six.

But it is the number 222 that has a stranglehold on me and I can’t let it go.

Over the past few years I’ve  developed a fascination and have formed 222-digital-clock1a mystical relationship with 222 and I have no idea why.

Maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks telling me that 222 is a spiritual sign but it  consistently appears in the strangest of circumstances and sends shivers up my spine.

The number sequence on tickets, the time a personal email message hits my inbox or the time I wake up suddenly in the night is spookily often 2.22.

The year 2012 heralded the beginning of my transformation, it saw me find clarity  and embark on a journey to learn how to cleanse my heart and soul.

For me 2012 will always be the year of 222 when my life skyrocketed from mediocre to extraordinary.

Some people have religious beliefs around symbols and traditions that provide meaning to their life.

My belief system revolves around 222.

What is your magic number?