Tag Archives: love

A mother’s letter to her children

In 1985 most women stayed at home after having a baby and parenting was considered the mother’s role.

I loved my job working in the early days of computing but I wanted to start a family and was overjoyed when I fell pregnant. I resigned my position and looked forward to being a mum never once regretting it even during difficult times.

There were times when people seemed disinterested when I said I was a stay at home mum of three. I also notice this today when I tell others I’m not working as a woman in her 50s. We live in a society that evaluates us on our career choice. I believe people should be able do what’s right for them without judgment.

I have cherished being a mum since day one and will continue to until my last breath. I have seen you grow from babies to toddlers to children to teenagers to young adults and now as adults.

I love you all dearly and each of you brings me joy in your own way. I adore hearing your news and try hard not to interfere but just be there for you to talk things through without judgment.

Remember how we loved the book “Love you Forever”? Maybe it influenced our lives or maybe it foretold our future. Either way it told my story. The blurb on the back of the book says it all “This is the story of how the child goes through the stages of childhood. It is also about the enduring nature of parents’ love and how it crosses generations”.

I reckon we are two-thirds through the book where the mum climbs through the window of her son’s house to sing her mantra.

I am not just a mum. I am the luckiest person alive because I am a mum. It is the best position in life that I will never retire from.

“I’ll love you forever I’ll like you for always As long as I’m living my babies you’ll be.”

Life goes on

Time marches on relentlessly, can you believe it is mid May already? This post focuses on the ups and downs of everyday life and celebrates my acceptance of letting life flow as it pleases.

our-journey-our-story

Six weeks have passed since Game Over when I walked away from my city job feeling humiliated but very relieved to be out of the unfriendly environment. After that brief encounter everything at home seemed more appealing and I welcomed its comforting embrace.

How proud we were to attend the ceremony to see our youngest daughter graduate from University and receive the revered Vice-Chancellor’s award for her contribution to University life. Peter and I are in awe of the positive influence our daughter has on others, she is mesmerizing and a motivator to all. As Laura walked on to the stage to receive her awards I thought my heart would burst with joy.

One day I suddenly decided to track down my old school friend Libby through Facebook. We hadn’t seen each other for 30 years and met up to catch up on all the news on our lives. There is something special about old friends, they remember and see you as a younger person. The best mirror is an old friend.

Four weeks after the city office saga a former colleague invited me to return to work at the suburban campus for one day a week with further hours working from home. This offer suited me perfectly and I eagerly accepted. So for now I have the best of both worlds.

Every year I look forward to Mothers Day and cherish our family celebrations but this year was extra special when all three of my adult children joined Peter and I for a lovely homemade dinner.  My children each gave me a card and wrote personal and heartfelt   messages that I will treasure forever. These are the words people often say at funerals when it is too late for the person to hear. I’m so proud of the loving and sensitive nature my children exude. Being a mother is the most rewarding experience imaginable.

My poor old Dad had a setback recently. He stumbled and fell over while visiting my mother’s grave to lay red roses to honor her birthday . We later learned he had a heart attack, which restricted blood flow to his leg causing it to give way underneath him. He had surgery to dislodge the clot and his progress has been slow because he has lost strength in the leg. Next he is off to a rehabilitation hospital to help try to reinstate his independence. My Dad is old and tired and it breaks my heart to see him struggling to walk.

Peter and I have been talking about life being short and making the most of every day and have decided to return to Europe in September this year to discover more of Germany, France, Austria and Switzerland. Just like last time I’m a little tentative to leave my dog, my family and my home for seven weeks but I know how lucky I am to have the chance to see more of the world and grow with new experiences.

 

 

 

Special moments

gratful-thankfulSome days pass by unnoticed and others are extraordinary. Last Saturday was extra special making me thankful and happy.

At various stages throughout the day all three of our adult children spent unplanned time with us sharing stories of what’s happening in their lives. At the end of the day my husband and I talked about how happy it made us feel to have a close relationship with each of our children. This is the true definition of happiness for us.

Laura our youngest daughter celebrates her 24th birthday tomorrow. She is an amazing young woman who inspires, loves, creates and spreads joy. I saw this quote by Walt Disney and immediately thought of Laura. I’ve always thought of her as my magical Peter Pan.
Happy birthday Lawna.

walt_disney_quotes-1

 

gratitude and happiness

Eternal love

The creaking sound of her rickety rattan chair comforts Nina as she sinks down into the seat. Every afternoon she enjoys sitting and admiring her garden.

Familiar sounds echo as she breathes in the earthy pleasures of rich soil and damp leaves. A cool breeze blows gently on her skin. Sitting and watching she feels alive, in harmony with nature.

Nina’s garden is her haven, a place of renewal where she nourishes her soul. Silently she thanks each plant and ornament for bringing her joy,  they are valued members of her extended family.

Nina lives alone in a modest old timber house. A wooden nameplate bearing the name Akiko,meaning Iris; light and bright, hangs at the cottage entrance.

Her life is quiet and sometimes lonely. Most days she gardens and preens her tiny house. She does this for her own satisfaction and because she is grateful for everything she has.

As she sits looking at the garden her gaze is drawn to her flourishing Suma bush. She involuntarily gasps at its radiance. An affectionate loving smile spreads across her face. This plant tells her story.

As a young woman Nina spent her lunch breaks in the tranquil Jenku Gardens. This peaceful daily experience inspired her to create her own garden. She knew little about gardening but was eager to learn.

Nina planted a Suma bush near her front entrance so she could admire its soft beauty and smell its subtle fragrance each time she came in and out of her house.

Despite meticulous care and constant love her Suma failed to thrive. The foliage thinned and the vibrant green leaves faded to an insipid yellow.

Nina felt a deep sense of failure and loss. It broke her heart to see her Suma in such a bad state. Reluctantly she moved the plant to the back garden.

Weeks later she noticed new green shoots sprouting on the Suma’s spindly stem. Nina’s heart filled with thanks knowing her plant was showing signs of regeneration.

It dawned on her that this species survives better in the shade. She realised her Suma could not flourish where she’d wanted it to grow no matter how much care she lavished on the plant.

This lesson taught her to respect the inherent needs of each species. Over years her garden grew and matured into a place of natural beauty with thriving plant and bird life coexisting within her garden sanctuary.

Drawing her attention back to today a Pipi bird swoops under the Suma plant searching for food in the rich soil. Nina smiles and thanks every element of nature for keeping her company her whole life.

She feels tired and closes her eyes letting her head nod forward. She feels like she is floating.

“Nina?”

Nina hears her mother’s voice. She must be dreaming. Such a lovely sweet sound.

“Mum?”

Their arms instinctively embrace in a warm hug. Neither wanting to let go.

Nina’s tears flow freely as she recalls all the times she’d felt lonely and longed to talk things over with her mother.

“Take my hand Nina, it’s your time to rest with me.”

Months after her death Nina’s family sold Akiko cottage for a high price to a land developer. It took less than a day to bulldoze the house and garden leaving an empty block prime for multi story town houses.

Nina’s granddaughter Mai stands motionless looking at the barren land where her grandmother’s cottage and garden once were. She feels like she has been punched hard in the stomach sucking her breath away.

Mai closes her eyes and imagines all the times she sat chatting with her grandmother while looking at her precious garden.

Mai releases a primal scream and falls to her knees.

“They can destroy everything you created Grandmother but they can never destroy how loved and valued you made me feel.”

 

Grace

peace-it-does-not-mean-to-be-in-a-place-where-there-is-no-noise-trouble-or-hard-work

Some say that my teaching is nonsense.
Others call it lofty but impractical.
But to those who have looked inside themselves,
This nonsense makes perfect sense.
And to those who put it into practice,
This loftiness has roots that go deep.

I have just three things to teach:
Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and in thoughts,
You return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
You accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
You reconcile all beings in the world.

~ Lao Tzu – Tao Te Ching

Love is all you need

Yesterday I felt so much love for my old Dad who is 87 and I wanted to share the story with you.

I’ve blogged about the power of writing letters before and this email exchange between father and daughter created feelings of pure joy mixed with poignant sadness that only the written word can evoke. I know I will treasure this memory forever.

It is beautiful moments like this that enrich my life.divider-horizon-lineFrom:       JennaDee
To:              Dad
Sent:         Thursday, October 31, 2013 9:54 AM
Subject:   Love over money

Hi Dad
Thanks for organising the meeting with your accountant yesterday, it was most helpful.

I do however feel uncomfortable talking about my inheritance before the time when I will receive it. I want you to know I love you for being my Dad and the money side is inconsequential.

I would much rather have a family who love me as a sister and know me for who I am  than have a whole lot of money.

Love always
Jennie
divider-horizon-lineFrom:             Dad
Subject:        Re: Love over money
Date:              31 October 2013 11:22:38 AM AEDT
To:                  JennaDee

Dear Jennie,
It’s strange you say the money doesn’t matter because I feel the same way. Maybe it’s because we have enough.

I love each of my kids for the persons they are and I would hate to think money made any difference, because it just would not be worth it.

Give your sister and brother a chance to show they love you for who you are, as I’m sure they do.

It needs someone with courage to make the first move. I would love you to test this out. Invite them over separately and quietly put all your cards on the table. I’m sure they remember and value the earlier days when they stood by you. I need not be in the picture, only if you want me to.

I’m sure it would make your mum very happy also.

You will be pleasantly surprised at the result about a situation that has arisen out of nothing. You will find the effort to fix it is worth it just as I have been happy in finding my sister again after a gap just as you are experiencing.

Please give this some thought and increase my special love that will always be between us.

Whatever happens, lots and lots of love from
Your Dad
divider-horizon-lineFrom:       JennaDee
To:             Dad
Sent:        Thursday, October 31, 2013 2:05 PM
Subject:  Thanks for your lovely reply to my email

Hi Dad
I will take your suggestions and try again to reconnect. I don’t want to live in their pockets, I just want to know that I belong to a family who care about me.

Please promise me that you won’t mention what I have said to them. It is up to me to keep trying to improve the situation.

I am so lucky that I have you to talk to about these sorts of problems. I feel very sad to think that one day you will not be here and then I will feel alone.

Your loving daughter
Jennie

divider-horizon-lineFrom:            Dad
Subject:      Re: Thanks for your lovely reply to my email
Date:
           31 October 2013 2:49:48 PM AEDT
To:                 JennaDee

I promise.

You’ll never be alone while me or my spirit is about.

You’ll always be part of me.

Your Loving Dad

divider-horizon-line