Tag Archives: positive attitude

Composure

source – Acts Of Kindness Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Acts-Of-Kindness/340243799352588

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Hold your smile

There were times during my mother’s life when things were not going well. Like most of us she had her fair share of dramas in her life but she always seemed happy and had a smile for everyone.  I could never understand why Smile was her favourite song.

Now I understand

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

Nat King Cole – Smile Lyric

Confusing times

Followers of JennaDee blog might have noticed a lack of posts in recent weeks and I feel I owe you an explanation.

This dry spell isn’t due to diminished enthusiasm or effort, in fact sometimes I try too hard making matters even worse. I’ve lost touch with my word flow and temporarily lost my zest for writing. Several reasons for this situation spring to mind.

  1. I finally made peace with my past and (almost) always live in the moment
  2. I am content with what I have and (almost) always accept the way things are
  3. I learned how to stop worrying about things outside of my control
  4. I began a creative writing course

Sharing my thoughts and fears with others was therapeutic when I first started blogging. My online space created an outlet to write about things I’d never spoken about. It felt exhilarating and dangerous to tell my secrets.  Writing posts about mistakes, regrets and heartache flowed freely allowing me to face up to and deal with unresolved issues.

After a year of soul-searching combined with the support of fellow bloggers I learned how to make peace with my past and stop it negatively affecting my life. This shift in attitude  greatly improved my outlook on life.

The problem is now I don’t know what to write about. My life is wonderful, I am healthy, comfortable and want for nothing. I feel guilty that so many people are dealing with adversity in their lives.

Maybe that’s why so many songs and poems reflect stories about heartbreak? Maybe people more readily relate to sadness and difficult situations?

This leads to my last point about my blog drought that arose when I decided to try my hand at creative writing.  While I enjoy the intricacies of developing characters and plot I feel like it is corrupting my natural style of writing. I tend to overuse adjectives and when I re-read my drafts the writing is over-exaggerated and clunky. I seem to have lost my natural voice.

If anyone has any suggestions about how I can retrieve my blog writing vitality  I will be most grateful.

Yours in anticipation
Jenna Dee

Get groovy

Have you noticed how everybody seems to be extraordinarily busy?  Every day I see people swept up in the momentum of life relentlessly pushing themselves to satisfy all of their self-appointed tasks.

Getting caught up in the pursuit of busyness comes at a price and usually results in a loss of freedom.

We all have the same  24 hours (or 1440 minutes) in each day we live. How we choose to spend it is entirely up to us.

During 2013 I revisited my past many times in my blog posts but now choose  to write only in the present. I’ve spent enough time thinking about past mistakes and will not waste another minute doing this. What’s done is done and I’m leaving it behind.

If you live with regrets, have a crappy job, are trapped in a loveless relationship, have lost your creative edge or lack motivation to do anything fun in your life, then snap out of it right now. This is your life and you should make the most of every day.

My challenge for you is to press  play on Feelin’ Groovy and sing along as loud as possible (see lyrics below if you weren’t around in 1966).
I guarantee it will bring a smile to your face and almost two minutes of joy to your day. How you choose to spend the remaining 1438 minutes is up to you.

The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last

Just kicking down the cobble stones
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy

Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da…Feelin’ Groovy

Hello lamp-post
What cha knowin’?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in’ doo-doo
Feelin’ groovy

I’ve got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all it’s petals on me
Life, I love you
All is groovy

Getting to know you

A year ago I found it difficult to disclose things about myself. Perhaps I was fearful of judgement or maybe I doubted my qualities and uniqueness.

After a series of monumental life situations I experienced a physical and emotional reaction and knew I needed to re-evaluate my existence. My body was screaming at me to find a better way of coping with stress.

My search within led to blogging as an outlet to explore emotions and interact with others about the ups and downs of everyday life.  Initially I was guarded about exposing my vulnerabilities but gradually started sharing personal stories, which began the regeneration of my self-confidence.

As my first year of discovery draws to a close I’m stepping further outside my comfort zone and revealing more about myself that I haven’t blogged about this year.

I’ve written some questions and answers that may connect more of my personality puzzle pieces together. I would love readers to answer the same questions as a post on their own blog or in the comment section to my post. Feel free to answer one or all of the questions, or add new questions, as you wish.

What is your real name and where do you live?
My name is Jennifer Donovan but I prefer Jenna Dee.
I live in Melbourne, Australia

What makes you sad?
I was a lonely child and yearned for a sister close to my own age. As a mother I had a son followed  by two daughters close together in age who grew up as great friends. As adults my daughters are not as connected as they once were and this makes me a little sad.

Seeing the loss in my Dad’s eyes because he misses the love of his life, my mum, who died seven years ago.

What are your major mistakes?
Although I’ve learned to let go of regrets I believe their acknowledgement as a part of our lives is important.

Getting married at 18 remains my biggest mistake. Although legally an adult, I was an unworldly child with no idea of the enormity of my decision. The marriage lasted 7 years and finally failed after we decided to have a child.

When I was pregnant with my first child my husband started ignoring me and staying out all night. I was upset he didn’t want to share the joy of having a baby. I am ashamed to say I began a relationship with a married man I worked with. To me it was nice having someone pay attention to me but to him it was more. He talked about leaving his family to be with me, which freaked me out. I ended the relationship abruptly and broke his heart, which I am not proud of.

When was the last time you cried?
Recently I cried tears of being overwhelmed when I attempted public speaking (described in my post Closer to the Edge) . Sometimes sad movies cause a few tears to fall.

When my mother died seven years ago my tears flowed freely There are only three times in my life I remember sobbing uncontrollably; when my first marriage finally ended, when I lost a baby early in a pregnancy (the first baby for my second husband and I) and when my mother died.

What makes you angry?

  • Arrogant people who feel they are superior to others.
  • Every type of injustice.
  • I feel upset that my daughter who is a lesbian is not entitled to the same privileges as heterosexuals.

What is your most recent happiest memory?
Celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this year in Shanghai, China. We travelled to Tongli in rural China to the ancient houses and gardens that hold mystical power over me. As we entered one of the courtyards light fluffy snow started to fall making it a magical memory.

When were you most scared?
Being in Fiji during Cyclone Oscar in 1983. This was the only time in my life that I thought I was going to die and at the moment of realisation a bizarre feeling of peace and calm filled my body.

When my relationship with my son disintegrated and he left home. I was terrified for his safety and well-being.

The night my mother fell and the emergency hospital staff told us that her injuries were the worst kind.

When were you most brave?

  • Making the decision to return to university as a mature age student when I was 37.
  • Knowing I needed to reclaim my individual identity and revert to using my family name Donovan, even though I knew it upset my husband.

What haven’t you done that you wished you had done?

  • Lived independently as a single adult.
  • Participated in a study abroad program.
  • Taught English in Japan.

What makes you different from most people?

  • I don’t like being around a lot of people. Situations such as airports, trains, crowed pubs and shopping malls make me uncomfortable. I like my own company and love being with my family but I don’t have a large circle of friends.
  • Unlike most people I prefer silence rather than listening to music or the radio.
  • I’m not easily led towards fads, fashion and trends preferring to enjoy my own treasures.

Who has influenced your life?
I met my husband Peter when I was 16 and he was 18 and formed a close friendship. We married 12 years later after my first marriage ended and have now been married for 25 years.

We are different in personality and ideals but it seems to work for us. Peter is my steadying influence and is tolerant and kind. As the person I am closest to, Peter often bears the brunt of my frustrations.

We are a team and I am proud of the parents we are to our children. He is my soul mate and I would be lost without him in my life.

My mother also influenced my life. She was quirky and had an uncanny ability to see through the falseness of some people. My mum saw the best in me and gave me confidence to believe in myself.  After she died I struggled to maintain my self-confidence without her input. My mum was the kindest, most understanding and wise person I have met in my life.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned?
This year has been by far the most influential year of my life creating possibilities for many changes within.

The greatest lesson I have learned is that to change your life all you have to do is change your attitude. It is that simple.

Living the mystery

Change will happen when the time is right.
Jenna Dee (1960 – )

I enjoy reading quotations written by people from all walks of life throughout the ages. These brief lines of text convey meaningful messages and have the potential to change the course of people’s lives if their mind is receptive to new ideas.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
George Bernard Shaw (1814–1885)

No one is more surprised than I to finally understand and actually believe that change can and will happen to anyone prepared to open their mind to new ideas and possibilities.

 The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased; it can only be accepted.
 Wiz Kahlifa (1987- )

For too long my mind was unwilling to move on from past transgressions and hurts. I was burdened with unrealistic self-imposed responsibilities and fears that impeded my personal growth and freedom.

Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.
Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)

Futile fears invaded my mind for a good part of my life. It is only recently I’ve realised the extent of these unproductive thoughts. I’d hate to tally up the total time I’ve spent worrying about things beyond my control.

I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see.
John Newton (1725-1807)

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
Dalai Lama (1935 – )

I thought I understood the concept of the power of the mind but reality is I never truly believed it could be possible,  especially not for me.

For years I was a non-believer (and I’m not talking about religion). I dismissed the validity of stories about people maintaining a positive attitude while facing appalling life circumstances. If it were me I imagined I’d feel angry, defeated or wonder why me.
Now I see.

I’ve learned to be kinder to myself by encouraging all of my efforts and by not beating myself up about mistakes.  Kindness matters, kindness to other people and kindness to ourselves.
Now I see.

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.
Lao Tzu (570-490 BC)

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu

Eastern philosophies intrigue me. The Asian winds of the east softly blow through my mind providing an infinite source of fascination and empowerment to think and feel differently.

People who follow my blog know I’ve previously mentioned Lao Tzu, Taoism and the Tao Te Ching (The Great Way). This ancient Chinese school of thought has encouraged the elimination of my negative energy and created the harvest of unlimited possibilities. It has literally changed my life.

Tao Te Ching applies timeless wisdoms. The 81 poems convey that life is a beautiful mystery that cannot be explained nor understood.   To be Tao is to be unlimited, undefined or unformed.

The Tao suggests we let the world unfold without attempting to figure it all out, and that letting go of trying to see the mystery allows us to see it. This is a major revelation to someone who has always sought black and white answers.

The variety of interpretation of the Tao is limitless, not only for different people but for the same person over time. It provides personal freedom to grow without rules or structure.

Being able to release my self-imposed boundaries has provided phenomenal relief. Slowly it dawned on me to give myself a break, relax, let go and allow.
I feel like I can breathe again.

Tao Te Ching is spirit not matter. It is inexhaustible energy that flows stronger the more it is drawn upon.

der jen2Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Lao Tzu

Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
Lennon/McCartney (1940 –   )