Just like sleeping soundly in a comfy bed I crave self-expression, but at times it eludes me. Writing plays a persistent calming role in my life but doesn’t always flow freely. Sometimes my thoughts swirl in a tangled mess of perplexity and it’s during these times that my words dry up both verbally and in written form. This is where I’ve been for quite some time, hence my absence from blogging.
Like everyone life regularly challenges my limits and teaches me to adapt to new circumstances. Some periods are tougher than others but maturity of years has taught me that eventually these periods pass. I’m heading out the other side of another intense chapter and now look forward to a new travelling adventure in Europe which I’m hoping will reignite my relationship with writing.
Have you ever had an idea you desperately want to write about but the words refuse to flow? For a year I’ve tried to write a short story but all I have to show is countless discarded drafts.
To stimulate ideas for expression of my short story I’ve explored different writing genres including poetry, narrative and creative writing.
Reader feedback from my poetry writing attempts tells me my style is too obscure because my intended meaning is usually missed or misinterpreted.
My dabble in creative writing wasn’t much better than poetry and produced lots of chunky paragraphs containing over exaggerated description. When I read my creative writing it reminds me of someone trying to use superfluous words to appear more intelligent.
This led me to narrative style that better suits how I want to write, with characters and a plot woven into a story with a beginning, middle and end.
Recently my interest has peaked in folk tales because they appeal to my simple nature. Traditional folk tales use unsophisticated language and have a moral lesson as the underlying purpose of the story.
Usually folk tales have animals acting like humans, a problem and a virtuous message. The setting is often in the wilderness, as the woods represent a source of mystery, danger and excitement.
“Writing original fables is a good way to use creative writing to develop critical thinking about ethical issues, consequently building moral reasoning within children”.
So what seems like a lovely simple form of expression is presenting more difficult than I thought. I’m not sure my story lends itself to animal characters nor the wilderness but let me mull it over for a while and I’ll come up with a new draft.
Somehow I will write this short story before I die, I promise.
Is anyone else struggling with the commitment of writing a regular blog post?
When I started blogging I found it exhilarating and liberating to share my experiences and thoughts with imaginary people.
Blogging gave me new-found confidence, it gave me a voice in the wilderness and when people started responding to my posts I felt validated and accepted.
The discipline of writing regular blog posts keeps me accountable to continue facing truths and gives me courage to be open and honest.
But somehow along the way I got caught up in the thrill of the ride and started to lose sight of why I started blogging.
The last little while I’ve struggled with writing posts and this has bothered me. Writing shouldn’t be a chore, but thanks to my insecurities I started to make it one.
The problem was I started anticipating what people might be interested in reading rather than writing about things I wanted to say. I started seeking articles about successful blogging and attracting readers. I tried to write blogs about topics that I didn’t relate to only to scrap them in frustration.
The truth is I temporarily lost my focus on why I write a blog, which is to accept myself for the person I am not to accumulate likes or be popular.
So at the risk of being self-indulgent I will continue to write from the heart about things that matter to me, which I apologise in advance may or may not be interesting to anyone else.
I will return to treating my blog as an online journal that I share with my blogging friends.
Blogging gives me courage to face the challenge of accepting what is, to let go of what was, and to have confidence in what will be.
For me that is enough.